BLOG ON A STICK
This food booth has to be the beginning of the end of modern civilization as we know it. Deep-fried candy bars! Oh boy! And while your at it, give me a lemonade to go with that. Has anyone in their right mind eaten one of these things? And if so, they had to be either drunk or suicidal .. or both. I mean really .. why not just eat a handful of lard and get it over with? These repulsive food concessions make even the deep-fried cheese curds look healthy! Never in a million years. Not even drunk and with a bag over my head!
And not to be out done, there's this deep-fried morsel ....
Open up wide. It's a deep fried Twinkie on a stick! Yum! What ever happened to the good old days when the only thing on a stick was a Pronto Pup? I may be a human garbage disposal when it comes to proper nutrition but even I have standards. Let's move on to some state fair entertainment before I throw up.
Hey, I've got an idea! Now that I'm all queasy with deep fried dementia, let's climb way up to the top of the giant slide and get this party started right!
The giant slide at the MN State Fair is still the best ride at the entire fair! Of course, there are many people who would laugh at such a statement. But let them laugh, and let them die too. At least at the giant slide, there's no chance of mechanical failure or human error. You take your life in your own hands, and not in the hands of some disgruntled fair carny. I've slid down the giant slide since a very young age, and I hope to be sliding down it at the ripe old age of 99! And besides, it's my son Dominick's favorite ride too! Dominick's the smiling young lad at the bottom of the slide.
After sliding on our asses a couple times, we headed on over to Ye Old Mill.
Ye Old Mill is truly a state fair tradition! It's been in operation for 93 years and is still being run by the same family! Ye Old Mill never changes. This is both good and bad. Good, because I don't like change all that much. But bad, because Ye Old Mill probably needed changing right from the start. You see, there's really not much to this ride other than an old wooden boat going through dark musty tunnels on stagnant water.
Oh sure .. Ye Old Mill tries to provide some modest scenes that can be enjoyed along the way, but it's always been minimal and very cheaply thrown together. And I never remember it being any different than that either. And the staged scenery that they do have is obstructed by big ugly grid iron meshing that is supposed to prevent rowdy folks from throwing cups and other debris at the displays.
They'd be better off having nothing there at all. As a small boy, this ride always intrigued me. It was dark and very mysterious to a young mind. Now as an adult, this ride still remains dark and mysterious. And even more so when you ride along with a member of the opposite sex ... if you get my drift? All passengers must keep their hands to themselves unless married!
TO BE CONTINUED ...